literature

Foolquest: Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

Morning came and Malvolio decided to forget his frustrations with a pack of cigarettes and a large soda whilst taking a brisk stroll around the park, he’s already smoked his third consecutive cigarette when he came upon two corpses lying next to a pond. Judging from their appearance; they may have been adventurers who had their last run of bad luck. The gnome entertained the notion of robbing the dead bodies but it would seem that someone has already beaten him to it.

Malvolio moved away from the corpses and headed towards the pond. He picked up some stones and started throwing them across the water seeing how many times he could make it skip.

“You there, stop throwing rocks at my lake!” a voice scolded, the gnome looked around and there was nothing but trees and lampposts.
Malvolio wondered of why a voice coming from thin air would admonish him regarding his actions. Perhaps it didn’t come from thin air, maybe it came from the trees or the corpses. The mad jester began pacing around searching for where the voice originated.

“Over here diminutive one, in the lake.” Said the voice again; it was coming from the pond.

The gnome began to wonder why the pond would tell him to stop hurling rocks at its lake when he was obviously throwing rocks at the pond itself. Then he wondered as why would a pond own a lake, if so then where is it? Or perhaps the pond was not a pond, but a small lake, a midget lake. He contemplated these thoughts until his reverie was interrupted by an emerald knight which rose from the waters.

“So ‘tis a gnome that has been hurling rocks on this sacred lake, I am Sir Christian and I require your assistance, since that you are the only one who answered my call on such short notice. There were others before you but they ran away with fear thinking that I must be some sort of evil spirit.”

Indeed Malvolio was listening, but his thoughts are still busy analyzing the situation; is the knight a pond who owns a lake? Or is the knight a small lake who owns a pond? Why would a knight own a pond or a small lake? How did he talk underwater? Pointless question after pointless questions went flying in and out of the gnome’s aberrant mind.

Sir Christian could not figure out what was going on in the gnome’s mind but he was running out of time; the fat mage he had lost to earlier had the chest and it won’t take long before he figured out that just about anyone can open the chest. What makes things worst is that he no longer has a body and he is now forced to enlist the aid of a stranger, any stranger.

“Kind gnome I seek your aid, a vile mage has taken a dangerous artifact. I would retrieve it myself but alas I am without a body. I beseech you to help me; foul powers will be unleashed lest you find it in your heart to quest on my behalf.”  

Sir Christian could now see that he has the gnome’s attention he then continued to speak, intending to seal the deal and prevent a disaster.

“In return for your assistance I will reward you with whatever wealth I could provide, I could give you three emeralds for now, there will be more once the task is complete”

The gnome wasn’t listening this time, instead he pulled out a book from his trousers and began reading, he started to glance at Sir Chistian and back to his book a few times before standing up and producing a small vial tied to a chain. The diminutive fool then rushed towards the “lake” and filled the vial with its waters.

Malvolio is a collector of ancient lore which he records in a small library hidden in his trousers. Consulting a book which he labeled as “Critter Compendium”; he learned that the knight is a fey creature called a green knight, beings which dated back from the times when Avalon was just a puny island with a magical lake.
“The Lady of the Lake” created these creatures to protect the Island, tying their existence to a particular aspect of nature, such as a pond for this instance. Centuries past and Avalon now grew into a vast kingdom in the continent of Europa green knights began appearing in some parts of the globe.
There are “loose” rules regarding their symbiotic existence with a particular aspect, these rules are imposed via “oaths”, and like most rules an oath has loopholes. The cunning harlequin collected the waters of the lake to exploit one of these loopholes.

                                                    *          *             *

The fat mage named Chrome Lotus now possessed the chest, with his superior intellect it will be easier for him to wield whatever artifact which lies in the chest. He could already see himself destroying vast armies with but a mere gesture of his finger and statues being erected to commemorate his “heroic” deeds.  

Chrome Lotus suffers from a delusion that makes him perceive that his sociopathic behavior as heroic, using his twisted code of honor and pragmatic logic to justify his crimes toward society; burning a guard to a cinder is a rational course of action because he is in the way, and slaves are simply referred to as “prisoners of war” often reasoning that he was enacting mercy by sparing their lives.
“The end justifies the means” is the way this sick piece of human excrement lives his life; He and his equally despicable friends once killed a local baron in Avalon just because he “might” have oppressed his people at some point, the people were outraged and Chrome Lotus incinerated them for their “lack of gratitude”.
His hubris has also attributed to his murderous behavior; viewing himself as a great man who has led armies and counseled kings –then killing them and looting their bodies- , he believes that this is an excuse to treat everyone else –including his allies- like offal, even going far as claiming every treasure that he sees as a reward for his contributions to the world itself.    

There is a word for people like him… a total asshole. But as far as assholes go this one is about to be plugged shut. After consulting his vast library, by reading a scroll written by the sage Slovys, the mage discovered that there are three of these chests, each containing one of Count Vlyslov’s regalia; “the Fang”, “the Wing”, and “the Hide”. Further research uncovered that these three powerful artifacts were scattered throughout the globe; the Fang was taken to Eichslund in the city of Valstadt, the Wing was well hidden in the jungle ruins on Sok Angwar in Malay, and the Hide was in the capitol of Avalon under the care of the Lady of the Lake. It would seem that with a holywar currently going on in Europa, the lady had entrusted one of her knights to take the artifact here on Newshire thinking that she had prevented it from falling into the wrong hands; “she was right!” exclaimed the fat mage “in the hands of Chrome Lotus such an artifact will be redeemed and turned into an instrument of justice!”

                                                   
Chrome Lotus prepared the components for opening the chest; first was a mixture of owl droppings and sage leaves for a scrying spell. The mage chanted the command words and began waving his hands to invoke the spell causing the components to disperse into a grey mist which enveloped the chest. Chrome Lotus was surprised that there was no magic present in the chest, for the mist did not turn into any color other than blue. This cause the mage to turn red with rage, he had been obviously duped into thinking that the chest was real, his frustration grew more with the realization that he had killed two valuable allies in order to take an ordinary chest. Furiously, the mage kicked the useless thing hard causing it to tip over and busting its lid wide open; the mist around it suddenly turned purple.
Rage left the mage’s face, quickly being replaced by a feeling of elation. He quickly gestured for the mist to disperse hoping to see a magical armor known as “the Hide” hidden within the mist. His eyes grew large with horror as he saw two glowing red orbs surrounded by a bat-like silhouette.      

                                                   *          *            *

In his run-downed apartment, Malvolio made his preparations as the fey knight instructed; he is to purchase plane tickets to Deutsche and then take a ferry to Eichslund, there he would make his way to Valstadt where he is to speak with Elector Gustav.

After a long bath, the Jester dried himself and put on his garish outfit, but instead of a jester’s cap he donned a wide-brimmed hat adorned with playing cards arranged in a royal flush. He walked towards his closet -causing the rotten wooden floors to creak under his foot- and grabbed a few magical items and gag toys from his stash, giggling maniacally as he stuffed them into his trousers.
Sadly, weapons and magical items with offensive capabilities were not allowed into the airport, so he had to deposit all of his weapons back into his stash, he will just have to acquire new ones once he arrives on Eichslund.

Being too cheap to pay for a taxi, the gnome donned his special “boots of speed” and decided to just run all the way to the airport. It was a thirty-minute jog, and the “genius” left his plane ticket halfway so it actually took him forty-five minutes. Upon arriving at the airport, Malvolio braced himself for a long boring flight.
Part 2, please note me about some anomalies regarding my work.
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Kartunero's avatar
I dub thee

THE HITOKIRI BATTOUSAI OF SHORT STORIES!!